from reading through all this, my guess is the poster has a lot of train set quality cars which are notorious for having trucks too tightly mounted to allow any flexibility. This explains both the derailing and lack of rerailing. The trucks have to have some movement in all 3 dimensions in order for the wheels to be redirected. If the trucks only swivel and do not have some slight tilt from side to side they are too tight. This can be difficult to correct in train set cars which are often pinned to the floor instead of screw mounted