New writing style story thread

[seanrail]

If you like the new writing style for Series 17 onwards of Thomas & Friends, try and write a Thomas story using the new writing style and post it on this thread.

[seanrail]

Sprang a Leak

After Thomas has a leak in his water tank, Diesel teases Thomas about it and boasts that diesels never spring a leak, but Diesel's boasting gets the better of him when his carelessness and impatience causes him to spring an leak, which leads to something even worst...

story coming shortly

[seanrail]

Here is the story of 'Sprang a Leak'

One morning, Thomas was working on his branch line. He was waiting at Elsbridge, the junction station that connected the main line and Thomas' branch line. Gordon and the express were late. Just then, Gordon arrived.

Gordon: Sorry I am late, Thomas! My driver fell ill at the last minute and the station master had struggled to find a relief driver!

Thomas: That is okay, Gordon. It is lucky for you and me that my branch line train is a guaranteed connection!

The guard blew his whistle and waved his green flag. Thomas pumped his pistons.

Thomas: Come along! Come along!

Annie and Clarabel: We are coming along! We are coming along!

And he pulled out of Elsbridge.

Thomas has many friends working along his branch line. Thomas' best friend was Percy. Everyday, they greet each other with their whistles.

Thomas: Hello Percy!

Percy: Hello Thomas!

Sometimes, Thomas would have a race with Bertie the Bus

Bertie: I am going to win!

Thomas: No you will not!

And when Thomas wins, Bertie would say:

Bertie: To beat you over that hill, I need wings like Jeremy the Jet or be a helicopter like Harold.

And Thomas always toots hello to Terence the Tractor as he ploughs in the field.

Thomas: Hello, Terence.

Terence: Hello, Thomas!

Thomas puffed hard to make up for lost time. But just as Thomas' train was back on schedule, there was a loud bang!

Thomas (Shocked): Cinder and ashes! What is happening?!

Thomas felt something dripping from his water tank. Mr Perkins applied the brakes; he got out of the cab and inspected Thomas.

Mr Perkins: Thomas, one of your couplings rods has snapped and has made a hole in your water tank! I will have to call for help!

Mr Perkins phoned the Ffarquhar stationmaster, who sent Toby the Tram Engine to collect Thomas.

Thomas: Hello Toby, Thank you for coming to help me!

Toby: It is all right, Thomas! We better hurry; this train must not be late!

Toby rang his bell and puffing hard, he pulled Thomas, Annie and Clarabel to Ffarquhar station. They arrived at Ffarquhar station just in time.

Later, Toby helped Thomas to the Sodor Steamworks. Victor and Kevin were there checking Percy over.

Victor: Well, Thomas, my friend! What happened?

Thomas: One of my coupling rods has snapped, and made a hole in my water tank!

Victor: Do not worry, Thomas! We will have you fixed in no time. (Hearing Kevin dropping pipes, making Victor look cross): KEVIN!

Kevin: Sorry boss! It was a slip of the...

Victor: Hook!

Thomas: We know Kevin!

Suddenly, the engines heard a horn. It was a horn they despised; it was Devious Diesel. Diesel was always rude and loves to show off at the steamies; the steam engines did not like him!
   
Diesel (Smugly): Well, what do we have here? A stinky steamie with a snapped coupling rod and a punctured water tank! No wonder your worthy fat...er...Sir Topham Hatt's thinking of scrapping stinky and dripping steamies!

That made Thomas cross.
   
Thomas (Crossly): Now look here Diesel, we all have leaks once in a while! I would not teased steamies about their dripping water tanks if I were you. You might spring a fuel leak one day!

Diesel (Smugly): Rubbish! You'll never catch a fine modern machine like me leaking fuel on the tracks! Now, I must deliver fuel to fine modern machines at the Dieselworks. When The Fat Controller realises all of you steamies are suffering with leaky water tanks, you'll all be scrapped!

Diesel laughed and purred away from the Steamworks.
   
Percy (Crossly): Oily wheels!

Victor (Moans): That Devious Diesel. He never learns! (Looking at Thomas with a smile): Okay Thomas, we better get you fixed ready for tomorrow!

The next day, when Thomas was fixed, the Fat Controller told Thomas to work with Diesel at the shunting yards. Thomas did not want to work with Diesel; he will tease him about his water leak, but he did not want to let the Fat Controller down.

Thomas (Sadly): Yes, Sir!

At the shunting yards, Thomas' worst fears were realized. When Diesel passed Thomas, he smirked.

Diesel (Smugly): You've leak water on the tracks! Ha, Ha, Ha!

Thomas ignored Diesel and went to work shunting trucks. But Diesel kept teasing him all morning and by lunch time, Thomas could not take Diesel's teasing anymore.

Diesel (Smugly): You've leak water on those points!

Thomas (Angrily): THAT DOES IT!

Without warning, Thomas biffed a line of coal trucks violently; it is a dangerous move! At one end of the goods train, there was the brakevan and making matters worst, the guard was on board! He strained hard on the brake van's brakes to slow the train down, but alas, the guard had to jump clear as the goods train derailed at a set of points and piled up in a heap.

The guard is not hurt, but he is plenty mad!

Guard (Angrily): YOU CLUMSY GREAT ENGINE!

The Fat Controller soon arrived and spoke severely to Thomas.

The Fat Controller (Sternly): Thomas, you have caused confusion and delay!

Thomas: But Sir, Diesel was pushing my patience to the limit!

The Fat Controller: Nevertheless, you have caused an accident! It is The Flying Kipper for you!

Thomas: But Sir, I do not like the smell of...

The Fat Controller (Shouting): THOMAS, GO! GO STRAIGHT TO THE FISHING VILLAGE!

Thomas (Feeling forlorn): Yes Sir. (Then sneering at Diesel as he left for the Kirk Ronan Fishing Village): I will get you for that!

Diesel smirked as Thomas puff off to his punishment. Thomas was grumpy for the rest of the day, but the aroma of fish was the last thing on his mind, he was thinking of a way to pay Diesel out, unaware that the next day, he would not need to do that.

Diesel was at the Fuel Depot. Diesel was to collect fuel from the depot and take it to the Dieselworks, but there was a fault with the pipes that poured the fuel into the tankers so it was taking longer than usual for Diesel's tankers to be filled with fresh fuel; Diesel was getting impatient.

Diesel (Crossly): Hurry up, slow coach! I must be on time!

Fuel Depot manager: It will take a while due to the faulty pipes. You will have to wait!

Diesel: We diesels don't wait!

Sidney was there shunting empty oil tankers.

Sidney: The manager is right, you know! Fuel is a hazardous cargo! You must wait as it will take one tiny spark to make a big fire! Like that fire at the Dieselworks, remember?

Diesel (Moaning): Well, for your information, Mr 'I'm with stupid!', it wasn't me that set the Dieselworks ablaze, it was Diesel 10 and his crunching claw!

Sidney (Laughing): Of course! How could I forget?

Diesel groaned.

The moment Diesel's tankers were filled with fuel, Diesel roared away, but he moved too quickly; so quickly that the sudden movement had produced a hole in his fuel tank and fuel was leaking.

But Diesel did not notice. He just rolled along the line, feeling please with himself.

Diesel: Ha! So far so good! No leaks! That leaky steamie, Thomas, was talking nonsense.

Diesel went faster and faster, but then he went slower and slower.

Diesel (Feeling ill): I don't feel well!

Diesel's driver: You have sprung a fuel leak!

Diesel skidded to a stop. Unfortunately, sparks from his wheels had landed on the fuel tankers and the leaked fuel from Diesel's fuel tank and suddenly, the flammable liquids caught fire!

Diesel: HELP!

Just then, Thomas puffed towards Diesel and gasped.

Thomas: CINDERS AND ASHES!

Diesel was uncoupled from the tankers and Thomas, forgetting to get revenge on Diesel, bravely pulled Diesel away from the blaze. Fuel was still leaking from Diesel's fuel tank. The fire spread throughout Diesel's train and before long, the small fire had turned into a big conflagration.

Once diesel was out of harm's way, Mr Perkins and Thomas' fireman got out a hose, put it into Thomas' water tank and began to put out the fire, but it was very difficult for them to do it on their own.

Then, Thomas hears a bell and a fire engine siren. He knew who were coming to the rescue.

Thomas: Hurray, it is Belle and Flynn!

Fortunately, the fire was near the Sodor Search and Rescue Centre so Belle and Flynn, the fire engines, arrived at the scene in no time at all with their sirens blaring and bells ringing and they soon had the fire under control with a whoosh of foam from their powerful fire hoses.

Thomas: Thank you Belle! Thank you Flynn!

Belle: Happy to help, Thomas.

Flynn: It is just as well it was near the rescue centre; otherwise the fire would have spread through Sodor.

Thomas: See Diesel, even diesel engines can spring a leak every once in a while.

Diesel felt very embarrassed. He was twice that when the Fat Controller arrived, looking very cross.

The Fat Controller: You are a naughty engine, Diesel! Your rushing has caused confusion and delay and a fire! Now, the diesels will not get any fuel today!

Thomas: Do not worry sir! The diesels will get fuel! There are fuel tankers at the shunting yards! I will deliver them to the Dieselworks!

The Fat Controller: What a good idea, Thomas!

Thomas puffed away to the shunting yards, while Boco, who was pulling a heavy freight train to Vicarstown, helped Diesel back to the Dieselworks. At the shunting yards, Thomas was coupled to a long line of fuel tankers and puffed away to the Dieselworks. This time, there were no leaks and no fires either, Thomas was taking extra care.

Thomas rolled into the Dieselworks and all the diesels cheered.

Norman: Hooray!

Paxton: Our fuel is here!

Mavis: Thank you, Thomas!

The Fat Controller: Well done, Thomas! You are a really useful engine!

Thomas: Thank you, Sir!

Daisy: Three cheers...

Boco: For Thomas the Tank Engine...

Salty: Me hearties!

Thomas pumped his pistons with pride and all the diesels cheered, except Devious Diesel. The Troublesome Trucks were laughing at Diesel for his flaming mishap and they sang:

Troublesome Trucks (Giggling): Fuel tankers are waiting in the yard, tackling them with ease'll, "Showing diesels never spring a leak." Gaily boast the Diesel. Along the main line, he rolls along the line happily, unaware he is leaking fuel on the tracks and when sparks fly out when he puts on the brakes, up in flames go Diesel!

Diesel growled and rolled into the Dieselworks shed and spent the rest of the day sulking.

The End

[mrrailroad]

well someone has been wanting to write a story for some time nice story

[seanrail]

I am glad you all like it. I would like to hear your pros and cons of my story and its rating out of 10 like as if this story was shown in Season 17.

[GG1onFordsDTandI]

A fine story , with the exception of one thing. A technicality.
Never attempt to put out a fuel or oil fire with water, it will only spread it
The oils rise to the top and spread with the water. The more area covered the bigger it is. In one smaller area it is likely to just burn longer. Real fire fighters use foam on fires like this .
Although fantasy, Thomas's adventures should also teach us right from wrong , and water, on an oil, electrical, or chemical fire is just wrong . A one word edit, "water" to "foam" and youre golden again !

[Anthony P2]

Although fantasy, Thomas's adventures should also teach us right from wrong , and water, on an oil, electrical, or chemical fire is just wrong . A one word edit, "water" to "foam" and youre golden again !

You are quite right, my friend.  I feel like T&F is like another great British show, Doctor Who. Although fantasy, in DW's case, Sci-Fi, they both incorporate real life references or scenarios. For example the real Stephenson's "Rocket" was just introduced into the Thomas TV series, or The Doctor going back in time to cause the Great Fire of London or meeting William Shakespeare.

[seanrail]

A fine story , with the exception of one thing. A technicality.
Never attempt to put out a fuel or oil fire with water, it will only spread it
The oils rise to the top and spread with the water. The more area covered the bigger it is. In one smaller area it is likely to just burn longer. Real fire fighters use foam on fires like this .
Although fantasy, Thomas's adventures should also teach us right from wrong , and water, on an oil, electrical, or chemical fire is just wrong . A one word edit, "water" to "foam" and youre golden again !

thanks for the tip, i have modify the word foam in the line that discusses Belle and Flynn putting out the fire.

[PaulGWR]

Great story seanrail!

Donald and Douglas work on Edward's and duck's branchlines, but when the traffic increases on both branchlines the twins have to work separately, and prove that one has to work with the other to keep a balence.

Or

Charlie has to work on duck's branch line and duck doesn't approve of his ways, especially when Charlie gets into an accident with some ballest cars, but his opinions about the purple engine change when he helps out duck when he gets himself into a jam

[seanrail]

Try both stories, Sodorfan and we can see which story is good or see if both stories are good.

[GG1onFordsDTandI]

thanks for the tip, i have modify the word foam in the line that discusses Belle and Flynn putting out the fire.

Umm...I saw something else ....Thomas tries to put it out with water too . !?!?!  Maybe it gets worse, and Belle and Flynn, teach Thomas a lesson? With some polishing, you could submit a script on this one.